I once wrote something about an old friend. I didn’t mention her name. But she guessed it right away. She got mad at me for writing it. On my own web page. Without any mention of anything that would point to her.

It’s probably partly my fault why she got mad. We’re friends for almost two years while we’re working for the same company. And then something happened where she turned her back on me. Office politics, baby! We were fighting for the same position and I thought we were beyond politics. Apparently, I was wrong.

I just saw that she’s already married with a kid. It just brought to mind that you can never really trust someone who’s considered competition. Even if you tell each other both of you are beyond petty office politics, at the end of the day, it’s really who’s tougher and cutthroat who will emerge the winner.

Sorry, I may be tough but I was not cutthroat. Yet.

I can’t be a soundboard all the time. I can’t listen to you talk about your love life all the time. Because I have a life, too! And I have things to do.

I appreciate the fact that she tells me personal stuff. But then it gets tedious when you are hounded by text messages at odd hours. She knows my schedule. She knows when I am asleep and when I am awake. It just annoys me sometimes when I get a text message saying that she’s paranoid and that she thinks he doesn’t like her anymore… because of a ym status message! My goodness!

There are boundaries to this kind of thing, right? I don’t know if I’ve ever hounded any of my friends like this. I hope not.

Gilmore Girls is a great show about how a unique relationship between a mother and a daughter. The lead stars are both named Lorelai in the series. I love the show because the Lorelais are not your usual mother-daughter tandem. They are best friends and they are so close to each other that they tell each other almost everything that’s happening in their lives.

It’s an ideal situation peppered by conflicts brought on by changes in their lives. If only all moms and daughters can treat each other that way…

I was close to my mom but not that close that I could tell her everything. We even became closer during those months before her death. But it would have been great if we were like the Lorelais.

What about you, what’s your relationship with your mom like?

There’s nothing wrong with being feisty. As long as you are not stepping on someone’s dignity. We have a neighbor who’s rude and feisty and doesn’t care who she steps on as long as she can express herself. She walks all over her husband even in public. She would raise her voice to him, sometimes ridicule him in front of other her friends, and is doing all these things in front of their two kids! Do you know that their youngest, a girl, takes after her mom? She also raises her voice to her dad!

I think the guy is putting up with her foul-mouthed wife because he does not want to ruin his family. But at some point, he has to put his foot down and tell his wife to shut the hell up! And he needs to demand respect from the women in his life.

She left her shoe somewhere, thinking it might bring her the one she’s waiting for. I am just wondering if it’ll happen…

Or the other shoe will be lost forever.

“That women are mysterious and unknowable is something every young man grows up believing.”

- Chris Abani

I have to ask my male friends about this